


Give and Take

by stageira



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: First Time, M/M, Pon Farr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-02-24
Updated: 2009-02-24
Packaged: 2017-10-26 09:15:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/281319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stageira/pseuds/stageira
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i><b>Scenario:</b> Spock reveals that he's in love with Kirk but Spock does not see the logic in such a liaison.</i>Spock is faced with a crisis… he cannot deal with it alone.</p><p>
  <b>This fic was written in 1999. Just saying.</b>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Give and Take

*************

James Kirk had the sudden urge to start spinning his captain's chair around.

He was bored--travelling through the galaxy and seeing new planets--but he was bored. Captain and crew of the Enterprise, already settled in the second five-year Mission, were becoming somewhat restless. They had been without leave for too long, Earth sounded good, but any port in storm or rather in sight would be good too. Their latest assignment was to "catalogue" a new quadrant of the galaxy.

So far they have encountered one planet and several huge rocks wandering around. His always helpful and coolly professional Science Officer had informed Kirk there were two more planets to be visited before their assignment was over, one of them with a population larger than a few nomads here and there.

Kirk tried asking for more information, but details about the particular planet were not available. The fact had made him think at first that maybe it was some secret base of sorts or the population was not keen on meeting any outsiders. but Spock contradicted him by saying that the information was not available simply because no previous ship had been able to catalogue it.

He turned around to look at this Science Officer and friend. At least he wanted to believe that he could use that word. It was 3 uneventful years since their contact with the V'ger and Spock's return to him. Did that thought actually form in his mind? Return to him? No, Spock returned to the Enterprise and Starfleet, but not to him. At least, he thought that it wasn't so. Spock had acted cold towards everyone at first, probably the after-effects of the Kolihahr. People tried to make him "warm up" to them again with little success. They never managed to reestablish the friendly banter of old between them. He knew that the crew tried to understand Spock's need for detachment, but he had also seen efforts made by Christine, McCoy and Uhura, but nothing seemed to work.  
~>O<~  
While Kirk was busy reminiscing about past years during a very quiet day aboard the Enterprise, the Science Officer, his Science Officer was undergoing a struggle, a battle which he was not willing to lose, which will would be illogical to lose. An inner struggle that he had no intention of ever showing to anyone.

  
Kirk was present the first time the Pon Farr had taken over Spock, he had been there when T'Pring had denied him and his mind was the one he used to ease his pain.

Now the Time was upon him again, and he was determined not to let anyone know of it. Most of all he did not want to let Kirk help him. It was illogical.

What was the point of asking James T. Kirk to make love with him, to love Spock as he did, when it was obvious that Kirk was not going to be happy with him. All those women who had paraded through Kirk's life made certain of that.  
~>O<~  
Spock had been avoiding him for several days. And Kirk was feeling somewhat bereft. He missed his friend and his First Officer. He couldn't complain about Spock's performance as an officer of the Enterprise, but for the last five days he found that Spock while on duty seemed to be more... withdrawn to himself than ever, no more dinners together and not one friendly game of chess in ten days.

He couldn't really understand why would Spock felt the need to avoid him, although he had a very bad feeling about this. There was an emotion, a thought nagging to him from the back of his brain, trying to make him pay attention and he always failed to comprehend what it was.

He had finished dinner in the mess hall about 10 minutes earlier and what he really wanted right now was a peaceful game of chess with Spock, a soothing cup of tea (as long as Spock didn't not tell anyone that he preferred tea over alcohol) and a good night's sleep. Instead of that he knew that his night would progress like the five previous nights. Go to his quarters, try to read something, get restless and then head for the gym in the middle of the night.

Well not tonight! He was determined to rest and be relaxed for the new day. He was going to bed early and get over with it.

As Kirk reached his door, he saw Spock walking into his quarters and stared after the black clad figure.  
~>O<~  
Spock was trying hard to concentrate; things were not going according to his original plan.

The plak-tow was on him a lot faster that he had expected. He had to find a way to release some energy and at the same time not let his instincts overcome his mind. This was not a night for meditation. He needed a much more physical release, he wondered if the human custom of self-pleasure would help. Gol has taught him that he was indeed half human.

He went about his quarters engaging himself in his nightly ritual: indulge in a hot shower, dress in his black robe, light the meditation censer, dim the lights. This night he chose to forgo his usual cup of tea. A hot liquid was not what he needed. As McCoy would put it, the company of another's hot mind though would not be bad.

He felt the need to mentally touch someone more than the need to find physical release. How could he crave something he never knew? Physical release for him was something unknown and he never gave much thought to it, after all he only felt the gnawing need once every seven years.  
~>O<~  
James Kirk was trying hard not to eavesdrop, if of course he could call it that. He knew that Spock was in the adjoining room next to his. No matter how hard he tried, in the past hour all he could think of was Spock. How cold he seemed to be these days and how unbelievably attractive. Wait, take a step back JT, attractive?

/Well, yes. Why not?/

An unfamiliar sound coming from somewhere very close got him out of his reverie. His head came up, something was definitely wrong. There was no way he could have heard that was it?

/Spock my friend is there something wrong with you? Are you in some kind of crisis?/ Kirk never finished forming his worries. Crisis? What kind of a crisis could a Vulcan be in?

Kirk rose and went to his diary, how long has it been? Did time pass so quickly that he did not remember such an important fact? Damn! It was approximately 7 years since Spock had to go through the madness And fire of the Pon Farr. But it wasn't possible that he was in Pon Farr right now, was it? Looking back at the last few days Spock was the same person he always was, no sign of madness or any other kind of emotion, just his withdrawal from Kirk.

Damn him! Damn him and his stubborn mind. This was going to be over once and for all, that obstinate Vulcan was going to accept his help whether he wanted it or not.

Jim rushed back to the door that separated the two adjoining rooms and keyed the privacy lock. He and Spock had agreed that they wouldn't normally take  
advantage of their ability to override the lock unless it was urgent and in James Kirk's opinion, this was urgent!  
~>O<~  
Spock thought that he heard the sound of a door opening, but at that point he was no longer interested, his body was sending delicious and urgent messages to his mind, a mind that was alone. /One and together/ he knew the meaning of that phrase very well, but now he could fully understand what it was meant to be.

Now with the full effect of the Pon Farr and his struggle to achieve physical release the one seemed so lonely.

Something cool grabbed his hands and tried to stop him from straining to reach his release.

"Spock. Spock!" His name, should he listen to the voice calling him?

Jim was frantic, "Spock, my friend will you let me help you?" He was still holding Spock's hands into his, not daring to touch him anywhere else.Trying to make Spock face him and give him an answer he tightened the hold on Spock's hand.

A breathy moan and the murmur of his name made Kirk decide that this was all the answer he could get out of Spock at this point.

Spock looked up to his face, flushed cheeks and dilated eyes. He guided Kirk's hands to his cock, letting him complete the act he had started.

The heavy, deep moans coming from the man underneath him made him hard but he was determined not to let his lust come in the way of this. He increased his pumping sensing the other man's desperate need for release.

Spock had his eyes closed, trying to fight the urgent need to grab Kirk and force his way into him.

A sound. That was all. A low deep sound coming from his throat as his semen was pumped out of him.  
~>O<~  
He felt a warm breath along his navel and tried to focus on that feeling trying to pull himself out of the comatose state that the orgasm had left him. He slowly lifted his head to see the source of that hot breath and was greeted by the most unexpected image in his life.

The strong man kneeling next to him was totally absorbed in lapping, with small flicks of that liquid pink tongue, the remainings of his orgasm from his body. He was tempted to let him do that, but the need inside him was half sated. His hands found themselves tangled in Kirk's hair, dragging him upwards trying to get his mouth close to him.

One kiss that was what he wanted, one simple kiss and the touch of Kirk's mind.

Kirk slowly moved touching his face bringing him close to him. "I accept what you can give me, whenever you can give it to me." His words were sealed in a kiss, a light touch on his lips and then a more demanding pressure, but not on his lips. The pressure seemed to come from his temples.

Suddenly he was thrown on the floor with Spock rising above him. "I thank you for your help Captain, it seems that you are always able to help me through this Time of crisis."

Spock retreated back to the small area where he prepared his tea and reached for a particular pack.  
~>O<~  
Kirk was left speechless, had Spock just dumped him? He slowly rose from the bed and approached the Vulcan.

"Spock, did you just pass your plak-tow? Did you just reached sexual release and now you're *disposing* of me?" Kirk was almost speechless. Did Spock just use him and tell him to leave?

"Spock."

"Captain, I can understand and appreciate your sacrifice, but if you would please leave me alone, I'd be thankful." The cool tone of that voice had Kirk thinking that Spock certainly did not appreciate his help.

"Spock. my friend, I want to assure you this was no sacrifice. Why didn't you ask for my help before this stage? Did you think that I would refuse you a relieving touch, are you."

Spock's raised hand cut off his musings. "I do not wish to talk this further with you, Captain."

"Jim."

"I am certain that it would be best if I was to visit Vulcan when the Time is upon me again. I know that you consider me a friend, and you seem to find it logical to help me in a crisis like this, but unfortunately my feelings for you will not be the most logical thing to explore right now. I am certain that you do not wish to be faced with a Vulcan male that might tie himself to you." Spock turned to face Kirk, "Also I find that we must change the privacy lock on that door. I'm sure that no more visits will be needed."

Jim found himself being led to said door, Spock's hand on his forearm, before he had any chance to speak his mind.  
~>O<~  
"Captain , I'm receiving an urgent message from Starfleet Uhura turned and faced Kirk, her hands on the console ready to transfer the message where he wanted.

"What's the nature of the message, Commander?"

Did he dare hope that it was a mission that would take him out of this misery?

"It's from Admiral Nogura sir, urgent is the only marking on it," Uhura was trying very hard not to let her worry show, the Captain's was very clearly suffering from what she was not sure, but the change that happened in one night was not something she liked. The captain looked like he had been in a fight with five big opponents and lost from every one of them.

"Pass it to briefing room two, Commander." Kirk rose from his chair heading for the lift, "Mr. Spock, you have the Con."

As soon Kirk entered the lift he called sickbay. "McCoy, this is the Captain, will it be convenient for you to join me in briefing room two?"

"Sure you don't want me to call you Admiral, Jim?"

The teasing tones and dry humor of Dr. McCoy made him smile. No respect in that man whatsoever, especially for people with higher rank.

"I don't think that is necessary between us, Bones, what do you think?" Mischief was evident in Kirk's voice.

"Yeah, and I'm sure that the heads sent you a happy little message again. Was it marked urgent at least, I hate having to be sent on a mission that might end my life if it's not marked urgent." The continuous whine of McCoy made Kirk feel a little bit better, no matter how tired or heartbroken he was, he could never stop the smile from appearing on his lips when listening to his old friend.

"Why, Bones, I had no idea you felt that way! Now will you be as kind enough to join me, I have a feeling that this will change our routine for a while." Kirk exited the lift and headed towards the briefing room.

"So, Jim, we have a message marked urgent, which you feverishly wish that it will mean action and you haven't opened it yet. Will miracles never cease?"Leonard McCoy gave Kirk a lopsided smile, a facial expression that meant so much more to both of them.

It was fondness for an unruly child and care for the starship captain whose way of thinking and acting never ceased to amaze him.

"I suppose a little restraint might be good for me, don't you think? Although I still have to actually understand how Spock does this."

Kirk was already reaching for the com, when he realized what he said. /Spock's restraint. Damn it! Damn it all to hell. Vulcan restraint and stubbornness./

"Viewer on." The familiar features of Admiral Nogura appeared on screen.  
"Captain Kirk, Jim... I'm sorry for not sending a more personal live message, but all these functions never leave time to actually talk with someone so long away.

I'll come straight to the point. You are scheduled to reach the planet of Primarin in two days, I'm afraid that I'll have to ask you to postpone that duty for a full week from today."

Kirk turned to look at McCoy, what was this supposed to mean? If there was some kind of trouble on the planet they should head there as soon as possible and not stay away.

Admiral Nogura kept talking, "The request came from the ruler of that planet Queen Leana. We were surprised to hear from her, as you can understand, since that particular planet was always reluctant to communicate with us. The Queen informed us that there is a very serious ritual taking place this week on the planet and though we would have liked to witness it we can't let the Enterprise dock on that planet. In order to make us believe her, the Queen shared some of the details of her world with us that I'm sure you will be interested to know.

Kirk reached for the com and stopped the message, signaling to Uhura at the same. "Uhura, this is the captain, could you please inform Mr. Spock that I  
wish to see him in Briefing Room two"

"Yes, Captain, right away."

Kirk heard through the channel Spock's voice telling Sulu that he had the con, and he deactivated the line to Uhura.

"Something you feel compelled to share with the our cold green-blooded friend, Jim?" McCoy was actually enjoying this, he had been for some days now watching Spock avoid everyone and immerge himself in meditation for countless hours. He had also watched Kirk become more and more restless; trying to find release through physical work-out, but nothing seemed to work for either of them.

The Kirk that had appeared before him this morning though was something else, he could say that the captain looked weary enough, but it wasn't from physical exercise.

One thing that no one could say was that Dr. McCoy was a fool. He could count years as well a five year old counting fingers, and he could also see that the timing of his friends unrest was suspiciously close to 7 years after the events on Vulcan.

He remembered Spock's Pon Farr and T'Pring's "mess" as he came to call it. He was aware of something more transpiring between Kirk and Spock during their fight. Maybe not the actual sexual relief that Spock needed, but something else. He still wasn't able to find out what, but it seemed that the Time was upon them again and interesting developments where visible in the horizon.

"Well, I think that a ritual and information on a world little known to us, might interest the Science Officer, don't you agree?" The irony was obvious in Kirk's voice and his face had that expression that read.

"I find it interesting that just now you remembered that Spock will want to know about all this. I was expecting to see him with you when I entered the room, Jim. Have you noticed his avoidance --McCoy was cut off mid-sentence by the arrival of said Science Officer.

/Cool as cucumber, that is our Spock./ McCoy was not certain though that the Vulcan would appreciate the doctor comparing him to a cool green earth-based vegetable. The thought made him smile even more and that was even better for his reputation since Jim turned and looked at him worried. /That's it, my friend, you are worried cause I'm smiling, I bet you are dying to know what I'm thinking./

"Spock, come join us." Kirk indicated the chair next to him for his First Officer and reached for the "play" button. "Admiral Nogura contacted us with an urgent request that we are not to proceed to planet Primarin for at least a week. Seems that the ruler of the planet, Queen Leana has alerted Starfleet of some ritual that takes place on her home world, one that we are not allowed to see. I thought that it would interest you to hear what the Queen has to say about her world."

Kirk turned his attention back the screen not wanting to suffer his First Officer's gaze.

"I'll leave you to see the Queen's message for yourself, Jim." Admiral's Nogura face blinked from the screen and a woman took his place.

Queen Leana was tall for a woman and had long gray hair that revealed her age, her features where sharp and her face seemed wrinkled with age and lines of laughter.

"Greetings, Admiral, I know that you wished to learn more of our planet and we must ask your forgiveness for our reluctance to give more details throughout the years. You see our society is a very closed one, we are based on what you could call Matriarchy, something that to us mean so much more. Truth is that there are no men on our planet. Our population is consisted by women alone, with the exception of the servants in the Temple of War, they are the only males present on this world and their duty is to serve a god and an idea that we have long abandoned: war. Our society consists of females alone, I'm sure that you are wondering how we manage to procreate and keep our society alive. Our planet is considered to be a safe haven for women from all over the galaxy, we do not care where they come from or how young they are, all females are welcomed on the basis that they have no committed a reprehensible crime. Also the women of the planet are free to bear a child if they choose to by selecting a male, if the child is a girl it is accepted by us, if the child is a boy it is given to Temple of War, the priests normally keep the male children or send to some other planet to be raised by families with no children or other Temples.

"Your effort to communicate with us in a more personal manner came in a most unfortunate timing. I am ready to retire from the throne and surrender leadership to my heir; my daughter princess Kitana will take my place. This is the week that the celebration will take place and although we would have liked to see representatives from Starfleet, aside from the coronation my daughter is to be wed with her bondmate, T'Alena.

"It is a most joyous event and something I will treasure, but custom dictates that no men are allowed to be on planet at this time. Even the servants of the Temple have been sent on a cruiser that is in orbit around the planet.

This is why I must ask you to withhold the "Enterprise" from docking on our planet for five more days. We were very happy to be informed that there is a very distinguished Vulcan among your crew, Commander Spock. We will be more than happy to accept a party that he will be a member of, after the coronation. Our ancestors have much in common with the planet Vulcan as well as our physiology. As I said my daughter is to be wed with her bondmate, which happens to be a Vulcan female raised on Vulcan. You are familiar with Vulcans so I am sure you can understand the need for us to be out of the eyes of men, although we too we too are influenced by the Pon Farr, sexual relations are not restricted within that time.

I thank you for listening to me, live long and prosper."

The transmission ended with the image of the Queen reaching to switch off her screen, as Kirk turned to look at his officers Spock rose from the table and headed for the door.

"Mr. Spock. Spock where are you going?" Kirk was astonished; the Vulcan had never seemed so shaken before. He turned to face McCoy who just looked at him and shrugged.

"Do you think that the Queen might have said something that insulted him?" Kirk asked.

"No, Jim, but I think that something is wrong with him nonetheless. I assume you are aware that it's been seven--"

Kirk cut him off with a movement of his hand, "Yes, I am very aware of that. Bones, I think I made a mistake last night, I went to Spock while he was in plak tow and helped him achieve physical release."

"I suppose what you are trying to tell me in all those words Jim, is that you helped Spock masturbate, thus making him come out of the plak tow, am I correct?"

McCoy was actually smiling, maybe things where getting better. There was hope for those two fools.

"What I am trying to tell you Bones is that I helped Spock get through his Time and I was thrown out afterwards." Kirk was bitter and he knew he had  
every right to be so. He just couldn't believe that Spock had refused to listen to his reasons.

"Thrown out?" Ohh the those two idiots, what they had done again?

"Yes, thrown out. Along with a declaration. It seems that our Spock is in love with me, but he can't see any logic in such an emotion, at least where I am concerned. Anything else I could enlighten you about?"

"Well yes, Jim, why do you think that Spock left the room like he was burned? What was it in the Queen's words that made him react that way." McCoy was going into his search mode, give Jim enough clues and he might actually figure it out.

"I suppose that her words about Pon Farr must have hit a chord inside him."

"Yes, but what is that chord, Jim?"

"That they too are very close to Vulcan physiology, that they are affected by the Pon Farr too, although that they seem to be sexually functioning outside...."

Kirk stopped mid-sentence and turned to face McCoy. "It can't be. I'm sure that it can't be! But his words last night." He grabbed Bones' hand. "Last night Spock told me that I did not want to be tied to a Vulcan male. Did that obdurate Vulcan decide that..."

"That he can't sexually operate outside Pon Farr and since you have always preferred women, which is not true, he doesn't have a chance with you, thus he finds it illogical to love you. Well done, Jim, you deserve the first prize: a nice hot-blooded Vulcan! If you can get that through his thick head." McCoy was actually sounding pleased with himself.

"You knew, didn't you?"

"Knew what, Jim? That he and you have the hots for each other? Of course I knew, since that time ohh long ago that he refused to fight you to the death and came out of Pon Farr only because he willed himself to. I thought it was rather obvious of him. But of course when I saw him totally ignore the bond I was sure that something was going wrong."

"Bond? What bond, Bones?" Kirk was really and truly mystified by now, how on earth did McCoy knew so much about this?

"The one that Spock used to pull himself out of Pon Farr two times now."

There, that should hit Jim hard enough to get a clue.

"Excuse me, Bones, I seem to have some unfinished business with my bondmate." Kirk turned and left the room in a hurry trying hard not to break into a trot through Enterprise's hallways.

/That green blooded, thick headed, stubborn./ Kirk kept the litany of words in his head trying hard not to stop and kick something.

Spock had him infuriated! How dare he presume that Kirk would not want him only because he could have sex once every seven years?

And was that true anyway? He didn't think so.

Once he reached Spock's door he tried opening it, "Access denied, please enter correct code."

Damn him! He had changed his lock.

"James Kirk, rank: Captain, override lock."

The door opened and he entered the room going straight for the com unit where he could see that Spock was.

"... but Father, this was never explained to me. Didn't you think that it was necessary to let me know how such a situation worked?"

"Son, I know that you possess a very high intellectual, I was certain that in all your studies you must have come across something like this. It appears that I was mistaken. Is there I can do now to help you." Ambassador Sarek's voice was cool and composed as always, while trying to explain to his son why he never saw the need to explain some facts of Vulcan sexuality to him.

"No Ambassador, no help will be necessary, I will take care of this and any other problems that might occur." Kirk stepped forward and spoke directly to Sarek.

As soon as Spock's father acknowledged his presence, he turned the com off.

"I don't understand what gives you the right to pry in a personal conversation with my father and terminate the discussion even if you consider yourself my friend, Captain." Spock sounded pissed or at least as close as he could get to it.

"Bondmate."

"... but even a friend.... What?"

"Bondmate, Spock, and friend." Kirk started shoving Spock towards the sleeping area.

"I am not sure what you mean by that, Captain."

"And it's Jim, I don't think you want to call me Captain in bed while I'm getting fucked by you, Spock, is that explanation enough?"

Spock tumbled onto the bed and Kirk loomed over him, "when were you planning to tell me that we did actually have a bond? That your mind is linked to mine and your discomfort was mine too?"

"Jim I am not aware of a bond between us."

"Ohh yes? And then what do you call the fact that as soon as you touched my mind you seemed to come out of Pon Farr? Luck? I'm sure that it's not."

While saying the words Kirk had placed his hands on Spock's temples and the Vulcan reached for him almost automatically, copying his movements.

/One and together, parted and never parted./

/Yes./

/Mine for all time. No matter how far or how close./

"Yes, Jim."

"Good, I'd hate to have to fight with you on our first night together.

*************

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks and virtual chocolates go to Islaofhope, for being a sounding board, a beta reader above and beyond the call of duty and my inspiration. To Jenna for letting me pick her brain on details about "Amok Time". Hugs go to Spooky in England for making me lose a week of writing this story.
> 
>  **Disclaimer:** All things Star Trek belong to Paramount and Viacom. Slashers own the right to K/S and the word slash though J  
>  **Notes 2:** Assume that this takes place sometime in the second five year mission thanks to kira-nerys' timeline, this story is set in 2274, three years after the Motion Picture.  
> 


End file.
